Just when you think you have it all figured, you surprise yourself. It happens when you are most confortable, most complacent and most confident. I don’t think I will ever really understand myself, or how I work… I strive to construct a version of myself that I can clearly identify with but each time I think I’m there, I turn around and spite myself.
I wish I were as constant as a character in a novel. You know who they are, you meet them and they greet you with familiarity each time you pick up that book. They are sealed and constant; comforting because of that constancy. But I am one person today and another tomorrow. Or rather, a different version of me.
There is nothing left to do but move on and keep attempting to develop temperance and consistency of character, virtue and behaviour. If you get tired of trying to be who you know you should be, you’ll find yourself sinking deeper and deeper into the deceptively soft ground that only wants to swallow and use you to fertilise the next generation.